"You've been sitting here for fifteen minutes trying to ask me to be your date to a wedding."
I pointed a finger at her without even lifting my head from my hands. "Stop talking. Right now."
She laughed so hard this time she nearly knocked her entire smoothie cup off the edge of the high-top. A nearby gym employee looked over at the commotion, but Marlie didn't care. Not even a little bit. Meanwhile, I was seriously considering launching myself through the nearest plate-glass window to escape the mortal embarrassment.
The silence stretched out for a while, mostly because she was entirely busy trying to recover her oxygen. Finally, I forced myself to look up. Big mistake. Her eyes were sparkling, actually, genuinely sparkling with tears of mirth.
"I cannot believe this," she wheezed.
I let out a heavy, defeated sigh. "Can we please just move past this part?"
"No."
"Marlie, seriously."
"No." She pointed at me again, leaning in. "You rehearsed this, didn't you?"
I said absolutely nothing, keeping my jaw tight.
Her jaw dropped in absolute shock. "You actually rehearsed it."
Still, I maintained total silence.
"Oh my God."
I closed my eyes, bowing to the inevitable. "Maybe."
The laugh that escaped her this time was loud enough to echo off the high ceilings of the cardio deck. People were definitely staring at us now. Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.
"How many times?" she demanded.
I strictly refused to answer.
"Mason."
I looked away, fascinated by a protein shaker display.
"Mason."
I looked up at the ceiling tiles.
"Mason, tell me."
"Seventeen," the word slipped out before my brain could even intercept it.
Marlie froze for a fraction of a second, and then she immediately bent completely forward, burying her face in her hands as she laughed so hard her entire shoulders shook.
I was never going to recover from this. Ever.
My dignity was officially dead and buried.